The Pros and Cons of Getting Sole Legal Custody of a Child

Sole legal custody allows one parent to make all the decisions on a child's behalf. Learn when it might be beneficial as well as the pros and cons.

Whether you are planning a divorce or you are in the midst of fighting for child custody, you'll need to understand what it means to sue for sole legal and/or physical custody. Sole legal custody, also called sole parental responsibility, is when the primary parent is responsible for making all major life decisions for the child. These decisions involve education, religion, activities, family rules and expectations, and healthcare.

While sole legal custody is generally not preferred by family courts, it is an essential consideration if you are leaving an abusive relationship or are dealing with a former spouse who is regularly unavailable.

Learn what the pros and cons of this custody agreement are and when it might be beneficial to pursue one.

Pros and Cons of Sole Custody

It's important to remember that sole legal custody is different from sole physical custody. With sole physical custody, the children physically reside at only one location. Sometimes, the non-custodial parent will still get visitation rights including sleepovers and vacations together.

But other than that, one parent has physical custody of the child. The only time visitation does not occur is when the other parent does not want or can't have physical custody, such as if it's unsafe for the children to be with the non-custodial parent because of issues like abuse, neglect, instability, or substance misuse.

Having sole physical custody does not give one parent the right to make all the decisions though. For that to happen, they need to also have sole legal custody.

• Reduces conflict because communication is limited
• Makes major decisions easier because only one parent is legally responsible
• Creates more consistency and stability for the children
• Reduces the need to track down an unavailable parent to make major decisions
• Keeps children safe when one parent is ill-equipped to make decisions due to issues like substance use, instability, and abuse
• Eliminates confusion for kids if parents differ greatly on child-rearing beliefs

• Can be discouraging and disheartening for the parent that is not awarded sole legal custody
• May become a source of resentment and conflict
• Can be overwhelming for one parent to make all the major decisions alone
• May limit the involvement of one parent and potentially causes children to view that parent as less important
• May cause strain on the children because they only have one parent speaking on their behalf
• May cause the parent without legal custody to withdraw further from the children

Sometimes physical custody and sole legal custody are awarded together, but this is not always the case. A parent can have physical custody and not have sole legal custody or vice versa.

In many states, sole legal custody is becoming less common unless joint legal custody is deemed unsafe for the child. As a result, joint legal custody—which means parents share in the decision-making —is becoming the default decision in many family court systems.

Advice for Parents Considering Sole Legal Custody

Sole legal custody is often appealing to parents because it seems simple since no one has to be consulted when making a decision. But regardless of the appeal, sole legal custody is not meant merely for situations where parents have different child-rearing philosophies or difficulty collaborating.

Instead, sole legal custody is meant for situations where it is clear that one parent is more equipped or available to make sound legal decisions and the other parent is incapable of doing so or found to be unfit. For instance, when one parent travels outside the country a great deal, is moving out of state, or presents issues with substance use, child neglect, or domestic abuse, sole legal custody is a reasonable expectation.

If both parents are available and fit to make reasonable decisions, sole legal custody is not the best option, and courts are unlikely to grant that request. Situations where sole legal custody works well include:

• One parent is consistently absent from the children's lives and fails to maintain contact with them.
• The parents live in different time zones, countries, or states, and it is not practical for them to make legal decisions together, especially when they require an immediate response.
• One parent is unfit to make decisions for their children due to a history of abuse or neglect, substance use, or a debilitating illness or mental health issue.

Before you attempt to get sole legal custody, ask yourself if you are pursuing this route because it is what is best for your children. If you are pursuing sole legal custody because you want total control or you don't want to have to deal with your ex ever again, it's important to realize that these are not good reasons.

Children benefit from having active relationships with both parents. They also benefit from seeing both parents collaborate and compromise with their interests in mind.