My wife wants a divorce

I don't really know where to start with this, I'm not sure if I need advice I just need to get it all out there I might make enemy's telling my story.

Me and my wife have been married 13 years we have 3 amazing children, 18 months ago things wasn't great between us absolutely no reason for what I done, I had a 3 month affair understandably it tore us apart, but we decided to try and make things work and the past 18 months have been bumpy at times but I have bent over backwards to right my wrong ive been rightfully punished and I have accepted everything that was thrown at me, we seem to have come out the other end and family life was and has been prefect I couldn't ask for any better.

Fast forward to Christmas time 2020 and my wife was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer she's 30 it hit us like a train, it brought us all together has a family, I completely fell apart whilst on my own but stayed strong in front of my wife, she's halfway through her chemo, I have tried the best to support and help my wife I stopped going to work so I could help with whatever needed doing like I believe I should be doing.

Now this is where it gets tricky, Sunday just gone my 2 little boys play football so my wife said she'd take the younger one and I could take the older one so I agreed because they was playing in different locations at different times, my eldest boys game finished and my youngest boys was just about to kick off so we rushed there, when I arrived I said to my wife why don't you head home and I'll look after the kids she refused, so we watched the game I had a text reminder to say I had an appointment at the barbers I forgot about I asked my wife if it was ok for me to go amd she said of course so I did, I was gone for an hour at the most, on the way home she wanted me to get a takeaway from Nando's so I did, we ate everything was fine she asked me to Hoover up and I said yes no problem I went into my sons room he was showing me something on he's phone I was on the bed with him, my wife came in and said I could do with laying down I feel really rough I said ok why don't you lay down in the spare room and I'll look after the kids and get them ready for bed, her answer back to that was what and let them destroy the home and make it like a bombs gone off my reply was ok suit yourself right there was where my life changed, she went mad I could not reason with her one bit everything from 18 months ago has been thrown up like it happened yesterday I'm aware that I have to accept that it's going to be thrown in my face every now and then.

So long story short she left me and Sunday and went to her mums I have the kids at home with me I've have begged amd pleaded with her to come home but she refuses amd she has said some horrible nasty things that just ain't my wife and today I've seen an email from a divorce lawyer amd then she has told me that she wants a divorce, so naturally I've backed well off, I just don't understand where it's come from, any advice would be good, I've never posted on a fourm I'm quite a reserved man so this is completely going against the grain for me but I don't know who to ask for help.

Levic Hi Levic 've just read your post and I'm sorry to read about your wife's cancer diognosees and all what your going through as a family. I'm not an expert on marriages, but having been diognosed with breast cancer myself in May 2020 I do understand how it can affect you all as a family, and with the added burden of your affair to deal with even though it ended a while ago its still relatively near to your wife's cancer diognoses. Chemotherapy can drain you , I know from experience, but I obviously don't know how it's affecting your wife. But I think your comment of please yourself * I think thats what you said) because of all whats happened may have touched a nerve with your wife,and although you care about her and her feelings it may have come across to her as you don't. Us women are usually house proud ,and like a tidy home ,and maybe the thought that the rooms woukd get trashed was worrying your wife,as she probably doesn't have the energy to sort stuff out like this,as she used to so it becomes a big thing to your wife,and your wife probably hates having to ask you to do the thing's she normally has the energy to do. I understand your frustration, as you probably didn't mean to come out with that kind of comment, and probably wouldn't have if you'd of known the response you would get. My advice to you is to give it a couple of days and ring your wife,and ask to meet up and talk things through ,tell her you love and miss her ,and if she didn't rake the boys with her tell her they miss her and are worried about her too. If your wife agrees to meet up and talk, tell her again and again, how sorry you are about that remark,tell her you realise now how it coukd of upset her, and you realise now why it would . Tell her how amazing she is, and that you want to be there for her and will do whatever it takes . Good luck with everything, and hope you get your lovely wife back,to cheersh and support,as believe me she needs you and her family to support her now more than she ever did, but the affair has obviously made her feel.insecure,as I don't know if she had a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed like I did or if she had to have her breast removed, either way it's hard for a women and affects them emotionally.Hope thigs get sorted out and things improve for you all X

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